THE KURTZ FAMILY........OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY

Summer is here and I look forward to the lack of routine that comes with it. It is sometimes a challenge to come up with exciting things for the kids to do when they are so used to structure. Rod is only taking a week off this summer and we are heading to Coeur D Alene once again, but that's not till August.
The kids started swimming lessons today and this always has the kids excited. I think I may have put Sam in the wrong class......he was in a split class last year (3/4) and so I put him in the level that I thought suitable......level 4......I think I was wrong. I sat on the chair and watched Sam struggle while treading water for the required 1 minute....it appeared at times that the only thing I could see were his nose and mouth....it was quite funny to watch When I asked him afterwards how he think he did...his response was I think I did awesome!! We'll see we might have to move him down a level tomorrow. Maya loves the water, but she spends the entire class dunking her head under the water and popping back up. I don't think she actually learned anything today. I will have to tell her she needs to listen. Denaye is still so cautious, but she thought she had arrived when she was allowed to use arm floats to help her stay above the water.
This past year has been a challenging one for Maya as far as school goes. She loves to learn and has the most amazing attitude about it. She is a people pleaser though and what I have learned over this past year is that just because I am her mother doesn't mean that there is trust.......true trust takes time. It was a little humbling for me to say the least....however lesson learned. I became aware that Maya was not able to read as good as we all thought she could. What I discovered is that she was afraid to admit that she didn't know the word/letters etc......so what she did was completely memorize books. She could recite them by heart.....to me this took way more talent then actually learning the sounds that letters make. What she struggled with was trusting that it was o.k. that she didn't know the words and that it was safe to say that. When I finally figured it out I told her it was o.k. that she didn't know the words, but she needed to tell us so we could help her learn it. This then led to many tears and Maya finally admitting that she in fact did not know how to read. Since then we have made huge progress. She had an aid that helped her and she has come a long way. This was not about her not being able to read, it was about trust and I needed to recognize that so she would feel safe in letting us in on her secret. I personally think it is amazing that less then 2 years ago she couldn't speak a word of English and now she can read and write at a grade 1 level. This has been a year of learning that when adopting older children, attachment and trust are something that happens over time. This was huge for Maya and since then I have seen a big difference in how she interacts with other kids and adults. She sticks up for herself now...whereas before she was way to scared to say anything. It seems that when the dam breaks water flows....in this case it was all about trust. Good for you Maya!!